Initially we were doing bottles and trying to nurse every other feeding. This was disheartening because she refused the breast like I was offering her brussel sprouts (sorry for those of you who like brussel sprouts). So I continued to pump 8-10 times a day and give her a bottle. This was nice because we knew how much she was getting, but it still broke my heart that we couldn't breast feed. What if she never figures it out? What if I'm tied to the @*#% pump as long as I want to give her breastmilk? It sounded terrible. I HATE pumping, mostly because I can't hold her and do it at the same time, but also because it is uncomfortable and obnoxious to clean the parts. (Hint: rubber gloves for washing bottles and pump parts saves hands from cracked and bleeding skin - thanks Kira for that one!) The one good thing I had going was my supply was plentiful. We have about 200 oz of breastmilk in the freezer, an entire shelf. Sweet!
We tried the nipple shield. I have heard that they can decrease your supply because not as much milk gets transferred, but it was the only way I could get her to latch. When we did a yield she sometimes got as much as an ounce, but usually she only got half an ounce. Not much. So, we just continued to use it for practice. I had a lactation consultant come by almost every week (free through Kaiser!) and I went to a breastfeeding support group a few times. I think the cheer-leading was just as important as the technical support I received!
The most recent LC visit with our doula, we worked on her latch and it I found out how to make it NOT painful. It's not as intuitive as I thought! Because she seemed to be doing so well, we decided to commit the next two days to breastfeeding. I can't say it was a complete disaster, but over the 24 hours that followed she screamed and I cried quite a bit. She just wasn't getting it consistently, and we would spend 45 minutes sometimes trying to get the right latch, so she could nurse for 9 minutes. So frustrating, for everyone! So we decided to back off the 'cold turkey' and incorporate the nipple shield and some bottles (mostly during the night) for everyone's sanity. The next day, I had my little 'plan' to nurse every other feeding and use the nipple shield when necessary... but she ended up doing a great job nursing on her own! So we just did that. And it's been working since then (yesterday). Still some things to iron out, but overall I think we are over the hump.
Meet Willow! She is quite alert in this video...
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